Why the ending to 'See You In My 19th Life' was an emotional scam
Issue #11 See You In My 19th Life: Are we made of memories or by destiny?
So much of my fondness for this drama came just from the relationship between these two women - Ban Ji-eum and Yoon Cho-won. Sisters by blood in two life times and by emotion in one more.
<Major spoiler to follow/Run away now>
When Ban Ji-eum chose to lose the memories of her 18 life times, the show also had her forget all the people whom she had met in her past life and sought out in this one. So, she forgot the woman who was her mother figure, the boy whose existence was a driving force in her current life, and the painfully sweet memory of reuniting with her little sister once more.
Sometimes I really resent that Korean writers put such heavy emphasis on destiny. While on the one hand, it allows creation of stories where all kinds of wonderful, impossible things are inevitable and believable, there are times when destiny supersedes human agency completely. It's like writers forget that people are made of choices. Our personalities and character are built and shaped by the paths we choose every day. Destiny didn't make Ban Ji-eum the indomitable force she is, her memories of past actions and experiences did.
Forgetting all the choices she made, all the people she loved through multiple life times is a great way to undo her completely.
The Ban Ji-eum we meet in the end, the one who doesn't remember Cho-won from three life-times, is no longer the character we spent 12 episodes getting to know and root for. She's no longer Cho-won's sister.
Every choice writers make in the world of fiction is based on their own taste in fiction and a certain desire to evoke a specific feeling in their audience.
So what were they thinking when they decided the price of ending Ban Ji-eum’s cycles of reincarnation had to be her memories of all past lives and connections?
(Also, why couldn’t Ji-eum just wait till the end of this life and then erase all her memories? But fine, I’ll be generous and pretend there was a convincing deadline.)
If they wanted an ending where Ban Ji-eum could finally find peace but not with the people she loved, this would have been a poignant, meaningful choice.
But suggesting that the people she forgot would be able to walk into her new life and recreate the same relationships with this different Ban Ji-eum is foolish.
A bit of a scam really.
It’s like the writers couldn’t end on the tragic note they wanted to, so they rushed out a promise of inevitable happiness.
Because… destiny.
I don't disagree with your conclusion that a memory-less Ji-eum would be a different person, but the concept of destiny is more than a convenience to Korean writers. It's an Asian belief. My kiddo's Chinese nanny used to tell me that the Chinese believed that what a child is like when they are young is what they will be as an adult. Who you are as a person is predetermined. It's why ancestors and family are so important--that's what makes you who you will be.
In 19th Life, the good people were always good in their past lives too. The only exception was perhaps Min-gi, who seems to have realized the error of his ways and repented. I don't agree with this belief--but a lot of Asians do.